One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem. My husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to … Read more
A sales representative from a major chicken producer is sent on a mission to the Vatican. He meets with the Pope: “Holy Father, my company would like to make a substantial donation to the Holy Mother Church – but there’s only one condition….” “Yes, my son?” “We’d like you to authorize changing the Lord’s Prayer … Read more
Jesus is crucified, hanging on the cross up on a hill. Below the hill, there is a crowd of onlookers, including St. Peter. “Peter! Peter! I need to tell you something,” Jesus cries. So Peter, devoted to his Lord, breaks from the crowd towards the hill only to be stopped by a group of Roman … Read more
Three preachers and their wives were killed in a car accident. Upon their arrival at the pearly gates, they were met by St. Peter. The first preacher walked up and said, “Hello St. Peter, I’m ready to come in.” St. Peter checked his list and said, “I’m sorry, your name is not in the book.” … Read more
There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890s whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed … Read more
1. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the Bible Study is done. 2. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. 3. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the … Read more
Three couples — one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed — wanted to join a church. The priest said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples all agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple … Read more
Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years. While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of … Read more
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. Soon, he became dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell and began designing and building improvements. After a while, they had flush toilets, air conditioning, and escalators. The engineer was a pretty popular guy. One day God called to Satan and said with a sneer, “So, … Read more
A burglar was cruising through a posh suburb looking for an opportunity. At one house, he saw a truck unloading a big screen television, stereo, and video outfit. That night, without a moon in the sky and a heavy fog, he drove up to the house. He rang the doorbell and when no one answered, … Read more