A schoolteacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking … Read more
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Johnny, what is your problem?” Johnny answered, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade, and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!” The teacher had had … Read more
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When I first started college, the Dean came in and said, “Good Morning” to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded, “Ah, you’re Freshmen.” He explained, “When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, it’s Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open their … Read more
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and … Read more
At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms, and labs, etc., that each had an “A” so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and … Read more
The judge asked the defendant to please stand. “You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chainsaw.” From out in the gallery, a man shouts, “Lying bastard!” “Silence in the court!” the Judge says to the man who shouted. He turns to the defendant and says, “You are also charged with killing a … Read more
Two guys were taking chemistry at the University of Alabama. They were so confident going into the final that two days before, they decided to go up to the University of Tennessee and party with some friends. They had a great time. However, they overslept and didn’t make it back to Alabama until the morning … Read more
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. One of the students said to his friend: “I’m sure he has Petry Syndrome – those people walk just like that.” The other student said: “No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has … Read more
A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second-grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is “definitely” and its meaning is “absolute, positive, without a doubt.” She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who … Read more