Here is the corrected version of the text: A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart’s birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, … Read more
A woman went to her plastic surgeon to discuss her frown lines. The surgeon brought out a dial. “If you see any wrinkles, just twist this dial and it will stretch your skin.” The woman tried the dial and it was working great! But after three years with the dial, she had to see the … Read more
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death’s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort … Read more
OK, so there are 3 guys, and they are walking down the beach when they find an old barnacle-encrusted bottle laying on the shore. One of the guys says, “Hey look. It’s a bottle hehe,” and he picks it up and throws it. It cracks against a nearby palm tree, and a blinding flash of … Read more
Mr. Smith went to the doctor’s office to collect his wife’s test results. The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well, and … Read more
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every day. One day, when he came to, he motioned her to come nearer. He whispered, eyes full of tears: “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. … Read more
One Saturday evening, the doorbell rang. Bubba answered the door, where he was greeted by a young man with a bad case of acne. The boy smiled and said, “Hi, my name is Joe. I’m here to pick up Flo. We’re going to see a show. Can she go?” Bubba shook his head and told … Read more
There is a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with two monkeys and a woman on board. The control centre in the US calls: “Monkey number 1, Monkey number 1 to the television screen.” He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4, and … Read more
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. The first girl sent … Read more
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, “I have a 22-year-old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit, … Read more