A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night, waiting for her date. Wanting to make sure everything was perfect, she bent down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse. Accidentally, she farted quite loudly just as the waiter walked up. Sitting up straight, embarrassed and red-faced, knowing … Read more
A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. “Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He’s going to be really ticked if it’s not ready on time!” she exclaimed suddenly. When she got home, she realized that she didn’t have … Read more
Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the … Read more
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with. … Read more
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there … Read more
Not long after their wedding, Scott and Tracy awoke early one morning. The couple had been up for quite a while before they met up in the kitchen. Marriage was agreeing with Scott, and he greeted his new wife with glee and excitement that morning. “If you’ll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart,” … Read more
Father O’Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears. “What’s bothering you, dear?” asked Father O’Grady. “Oh, father, I’ve got terrible news,” replied Mary. “My husband passed away last night.” “Oh, Mary!” said the good father. “That’s … Read more
A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning, the husband wakes up, showers, dresses, and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying. So the husband inquires, “What’s wrong, Honey?” “Well, I came down … Read more
A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards, they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together. After a while, the husband said to his wife: “Honey, in all the years together, was there ever … Read more
Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office. After the exam, she shyly began, “My husband wants me to ask you…” “I know, I know,” the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.” … Read more