Star Wars vs Titanic
10. Titanic’s top speed is woefully shy of light speed.
9. Leia is a princess, a senator, and a freedom fighter, while Rose is engaged.
8. Using an old Jedi mind trick is a much more interesting way to get what you want than saying, “Please, I have a child.”
7. Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters, while Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.
6. Darth Vader wears black body armor and blows up planets for fun, while Cal wears a snappy tuxedo and is rude to the poor.
5. Everyone knew the boat was going to sink, but nobody anticipated, “Luke… I am your father.”
4. There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
3. If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he could use the Force to get the key.
2. Han Solo would’ve steered clear of that stinkin’ iceberg!
1. Sure, Leo can dance, but can he bull’s-eye Womp Rats in his T16 back home?