“Monkey Business Rescue Mission”

As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on the roof of his house and rushed out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home, he promptly called up the local zoo authorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped. He was reassured that a gorilla recovery unit was on the way and to remain calm.

A few minutes later, an old beat-up truck displaying the Gorilla Recovery Unit logo on its panels pulled up to the house. The elderly driver proceeded to recover from the back of the truck a chihuahua dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a baseball bat, and a 12-gauge shotgun. Puzzled on how this lone elderly man was to solve the problem of this gorilla that had by now torn half the roof apart, the chap asked him how he would go about doing this.

As he handed him over the 12-gauge shotgun, the zoo employee explained the plan: “First, I’ll climb up there with the ladder. Then I’ll approach the gorilla and knock him off the roof using the baseball bat. As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the specially trained chihuahua will attack its private parts. When I get back on the ground, the gorilla will have lowered its hands to its groin area to protect itself, thus making it easy for me to slip on the handcuffs. Then, I lead him to the truck, lock him up, and take him back to the zoo…”

Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled homeowner asked why he was handed the 12-gauge shotgun. “Well,” explained the experienced gorilla retriever, “It’s just a precaution should things not go exactly as planned. In the unlikely event that once on the roof, the gorilla knocks me off with the baseball bat, shoot the dog.”