“Neighborly Deductions”

Man approaches to greet a new neighbor who is just moving into the house next door and asks what he does for a living.

Neighbor 1: I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning.

Man: Deductive reasoning? What is that?

Neighbor 1: Let me give you an example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that, I deduce that you have a dog.

Man: That’s right.

Neighbor 1: The fact that you have a dog leads me to deduce that you have a family.

Man: Right again.

Neighbor 1: Since you have a family, I deduce that you have a wife.

Man: Correct.

Neighbor 1: And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual.

Man: Yup.

Neighbor 1: That is deductive reasoning.

Man: Cool.

Later that same day…

Man: Hey, I was talking to that new neighbor next door.

Neighbor 2: Is he a nice guy?

Man: Yes, and he has an interesting job.

Neighbor 2: Oh, yeah? What does he do?

Man: He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University.

Neighbor 2: Deductive reasoning? What’s that?

Man: Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?

Neighbor 2: No.

Man: Queer!