There were these three Texans who were going to go to Mexico to get drunk. They arrived, got drunk, and passed out. When they woke up the next morning, they found themselves in jail. They asked the guards what they were in for, and the guard informed them that they were to be executed for … Read more
A man and his wife were in a fancy restaurant. While ordering, they noticed that the waiter had a spoon in his shirt pocket, and after looking around, they observed the other waiters and busboys each had a similar spoon. So the husband says, “What’s with the spoon?” The waiter said, “Well, we had this … Read more
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded, “or just a bed, I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad … Read more
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 3:30 in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” … Read more
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each other’s friendship. One day, the younger of the two ladies turns to the other and says, “Please don’t be angry with me, dear, … Read more
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. … Read more
A photographer, who was also a confirmed atheist, decided to go into the woods to get photos of the fall foliage. It was a beautiful day – fall colors, birds chirping, babbling brook, and a gentle breeze rustling the leaves. While snapping shots, the atheist heard a noise behind him and whirled around to see … Read more
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock. Here is one of those stories. As he tells it, he was waiting at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he put … Read more
Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, “Looks like a duck, flies like a duck… it’s probably a duck,” shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away. The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks … Read more
Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. “T-Square, do your stuff.” T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out … Read more