It seems that a young couple had just gotten married and spent their wedding night with the young man’s parents. In the morning, the mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast, went to the bottom of the stairs, and called for them to come down for breakfast. After a long wait, the family ate … Read more
January 20, 2003 A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph, he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light … Read more
Sadie’s husband Jake has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his faithful wife stays by his bedside day and night. One night, Jake comes to and motions for her to come closer. He says, “My Sadie, you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got … Read more
Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said, “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older.” “What do you mean?” asked the second guy. “Well,” replied the first, “I can barely remember the last time I got aroused in bed, … Read more
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?” “He said you were speeding!” the … Read more
You know you’re from Canada when… 1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. 2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 3. The mosquitoes have landing lights. 4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 5. You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat. 6. … Read more
Giraffe and bunny meet up in the forest. Giraffe, in his usual arrogant way, starts up a conversation. “So, bunny, do you know how great it is to have such a long neck?” he asks, a faint tone of smugness in his voice. “I’m sure I don’t,” replies bunny, obviously not really that interested. “Well, … Read more
An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to marry. Before the wedding, they embarked on a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of their sexual … Read more
Things To Say To Telemarketers: 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all … Read more
Once upon a time, Hercules, Snow White, and Quasimodo were talking over a picnic lunch. Hercules said, “You know, everyone says I’m the strongest mortal on earth, but I don’t know how to prove it. That bothers me a lot.” Snow White said, “You’re right! Everyone says I’m the fairest, but how can I be … Read more