It’s the middle of summer and a Highway Patrolman pulls over a motorist for speeding. While he’s writing the ticket, flies keep buzzing around his head, annoying him considerably. “Circle flies sure are bad this year, aren’t they?” says the motorist. “Yeah,” says the patrolman, “if that’s what these are, you’re sure right. But I’ve … Read more
A senior citizen’s group chartered a bus from Brooklyn to Atlantic City. As they entered New Jersey, an elderly woman came up to the driver and said, “I’ve been molested!” The driver thought she was just being delusional and told her to go sit back down. Ten minutes later, another old woman came forward and … Read more
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on … Read more
There are three men in the woods: a hunter, a trapper, and a stupid guy. The hunter goes out and comes back an hour later with a bear. The trapper asks, “How did you get that?” The hunter says, “I find tracks, I follow tracks, I find bear, I shoot bear, bear stop.” The trapper … Read more
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor, and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor, and the doctor said, “Your … Read more
A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second-grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is “definitely” and its meaning is “absolute, positive, without a doubt.” She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who … Read more
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden, a … Read more
Disgusted by what he has seen on Earth, God decides to destroy it and start over. He orders one of His angels to appear at the offices of four of America’s leading newspapers: the Wall Street Journal, the SF Chronicle, the Washington Post, and the New York Times, in order to give them the scoop … Read more
Subject: Health Food With today’s adults looking for a healthier lifestyle, food and stress are very important to them. We will look first at what food can be added to our diet that will help relieve stress. The food in question is chocolate. This overlooked food is considered unhealthy, but let’s take a look. Chocolate … Read more
The Perfect Employee? 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always 5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended 6 measures to … Read more