Three friends were backpacking through Europe and found out about a magical mountain near the coast, so they decided to check it out. When they finally reached the top of the mountain, they saw a man jump straight off the edge and screamed that he wanted to be an eagle. Then poof, he turned into … Read more
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been known about the town, and on this very special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well,” explained the husband, “it all goes all the way back … Read more
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the boss. The brain said, “Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss.” The feet said, “Since I carry man where he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, then … Read more
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. “Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.” “ONE CENT!” exclaimed the guy; the barman replied, “Yes.” So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, … Read more
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never appears to … Read more
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he … Read more
A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not … Read more
A drunk, staggering down Main Street, somehow manages to make it into a cathedral. A priest watched him as he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way into the confessional. The priest, thinking the man needs his assistance, proceeds to his side of the confessional. His attention was rewarded with a lengthy silence, … Read more
A young engineer was leaving the office at 6 pm when he found the CEO standing in front of the paper shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is important, my secretary has left for the day. Can you make this thing work?” “Certainly,” said the young engineer. … Read more
A philosophy professor stands in front of his class and fills a mayonnaise jar with rocks that are about 2″ in diameter. The professor asks the class if the jar is full…they agree that it is. The professor then takes a handful of pebbles and adds them to the jar, shaking it so the pebbles … Read more