Britney Spears had just bought her new car and decided to go shopping with her friend and rival, Christina Aguilera. A few hours later, she came out and realized she had locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do. Finally, … Read more
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She responds by yelling, at the top of her … Read more
A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He’s crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out … Read more
– During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. – All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. – Beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside … Read more
There were three nuns who never did anything wrong. One day the high priest came to them and told them that in order to become better nuns, they had to do something bad and then drink from the holy water. So the three nuns went out that same day and did something wrong. The first … Read more
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the … Read more
A very rich man had his pool filled with piranhas. Later on that day, he threw a party and invited anyone who wanted to attend. He said he’d give any man $10,000 if he dares to swim from one end to the other. No one took the offer. “Ok, I’ll give any man $10,000 and … Read more
Three men are sitting at a bar – a Texan, a Californian, and a Coloradoan. The Texan orders a bottle of tequila. When he gets it, he takes one sip, throws it up into the air and *BAM* he shoots it with his .22. Everyone drops to the floor. The bartender recovers first. “What did … Read more
A curious eleven-year-old boy asked his mother, “Is God male or female?” She hesitated for a brief moment and responded, “God is both male and female.” Still curious, he asked, “Is God black or white?” She responded along the same line, “God is both black and white.” Finally, the boy asked, “Is God gay or … Read more
John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent, … Read more