A pirate walks into a bar. He has a peg leg, hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye. The bartender asks, “So, what happened to your leg?” The pirate says, “Aaar, I was fighting the British Navy and they blew up me ship, I fell overboard, and a shark bit me leg … Read more
A man went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather, “Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied, … Read more
Four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado and off they spin to Oz. After facing trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. “What brings you before the great and powerful Wizard of Oz? What do you want?” Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly, “I had … Read more
Two guys were out joyriding when the driver ran a red light. His friend complained, and the driver said, “Don’t worry, that’s the way my brother drives.” Later, the driver ran another red light, and again his friend complained, and again the driver distinctly replied, “Don’t worry! That’s the way my brother drives!” A few … Read more
A factory foreman is walking through the work area and notices that Kawolski isn’t at his station. He asks one of the other workers if they know where Kawolski is, and the employee points straight up in the air. The foreman looks up, and there’s Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the rafters. “Get down … Read more
Little Johnny was walking down the beach, and he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, “Are you a Christian?” “Yes,” she replied. “Do you read your Bible every day?” She nodded her head, “Yes.” “Do you pray often?” the boy asked next, … Read more
1. The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. 2. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 3. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door. 4. I am writing … Read more
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order … Read more
There were two evil brothers who were rich and used their money to hide their wicked ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church and appeared to be perfect Christians. However, when their pastor retired and a new one was hired, the truth about the brothers started to come to light. The … Read more
A young Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. “Say, Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?” “Because he was conceived during a mighty storm,” she said. Then he asked, “Why is my sister named Cornflower?” “Well, your father and I were in a cornfield … Read more