In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and … Read more
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he’s ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. “I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time,” the doctor says. “Oh … Read more
Once upon a time, three vampires met in some place at night. Apparently, each one of them was boasting about their vampiric abilities to one another. Vampire A said, “Look at that mansion over there! I can finish all of its inhabitants within 10 minutes!” And so he flew to the mansion. Nine minutes later, … Read more
The lookout aboard a clipper ship spots a pirate ship approaching and yells down to the captain. The captain orders the bosun to bring his red shirt. The captain puts on his red shirt and successfully leads his crew in fighting off the pirates. The next day, the lookout spots TWO pirate ships approaching. He … Read more
Colonel Sanders walks up to the Pope one day and says, “I’ll give you $5,000 if you change the words in the Bible ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘give us this day our daily chicken’.” The Pope replies, “Sorry, I cannot change the words of the Bible.” Sanders says, “How about $7,000?” … Read more
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her … Read more
Seventy-three-year-old Gus had worked in the garment center all his life, never finding the time to get married. But one day, a beautiful eighteen-year-old girl walked into the store, and it was love at first sight. Within a month, Gus and Rachel were married and on the way to Florida for their honeymoon. “So how … Read more
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began. “You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. “I walked up the trail to the gate,” Joe … Read more
A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. “I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want,” he insisted. “And, I don’t expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell … Read more
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of … Read more