Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. “This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,” said the first one. “No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the other. And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence. “Bring me my biggest … Read more
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night, waiting for her date. Wanting to make sure everything was perfect, she bent down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse. Accidentally, she farted quite loudly just as the waiter walked up. Sitting up straight, embarrassed and red-faced, knowing … Read more
A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. “Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He’s going to be really ticked if it’s not ready on time!” she exclaimed suddenly. When she got home, she realized that she didn’t have … Read more
Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball. Suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head and passes the three women. He passes the first woman, who looks down at his crotch. “He’s not my husband,” she says. He passes by the second … Read more
Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the … Read more
If you had bought $1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49. With Enron, you would have $16 of the original $1,000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5 left. If you had bought $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in … Read more
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, “How was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mama,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…” Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible … Read more
Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She’d hardly … Read more
Three young women in their thirties are on a road trip and are tearing down the freeway. Unfortunately, they lose control, the car flips over the guardrail onto the opposite lanes and gets smashed by an eighteen-wheeler. Up at the pearly gates, all three of them are greeted by St. Peter. He tells them, “All … Read more
There was a man and his wife walking down the road on their way home. The wife saw a baby skunk laying in the grass, so she decided to take it home and take care of it. On the way home, they came up to a river. The wife, concerned for the skunk, asked her … Read more