Sam & Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Sam says to Becky, “So, Becky, I was wondering… Have you ever cheated on me?” Becky replies, “Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question…” “Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please…” “Well, all right, … Read more
Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard, and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with, … Read more
Sure, here are the items listed in a numbered list format: 1. You grind your own coffee beans – with your teeth. 2. You sleep with your eyes open. 3. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. 4. You’ve worn out your third pair of running shoes this week. 5. Your coffee mug has a … Read more
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. “You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. “What took you so long to answer?” “I was … Read more
This guy had a very attractive wife who was always wanting clothes, jewelry, etc., but he was not too well off. One day his wife came home with a diamond necklace. The guy asked, “Where did you get that?” His wife replied, “I won it at bingo.” The next night she came home with a … Read more
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there … Read more
“The car won’t start,” said a wife to her husband. “I think there’s water in the carburetor.” “How do you know?” said the husband scornfully. “You don’t even know what the carburetor is.” “I’m telling you,” repeated the wife, “I’m sure there’s water in the carburetor.” “We’ll see,” mocked the husband. “Let me check it … Read more
Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 25% of the pain to the father. The husband feels really bad for his wife so … Read more
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with. … Read more
Not long after their wedding, Scott and Tracy awoke early one morning. The couple had been up for quite a while before they met up in the kitchen. Marriage was agreeing with Scott, and he greeted his new wife with glee and excitement that morning. “If you’ll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart,” … Read more