Father O’Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears. “What’s bothering you, dear?” asked Father O’Grady. “Oh, father, I’ve got terrible news,” replied Mary. “My husband passed away last night.” “Oh, Mary!” said the good father. “That’s … Read more
A young couple, married just a couple of weeks, returns from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. The next morning, the husband wakes up, showers, dresses, and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying. So the husband inquires, “What’s wrong, Honey?” “Well, I came down … Read more
A husband and wife went to dinner and celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Afterwards, they returned home and went to their patio to relax with a glass of wine and to reflect on their fifty years together. After a while, the husband said to his wife: “Honey, in all the years together, was there ever … Read more
Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office. After the exam, she shyly began, “My husband wants me to ask you…” “I know, I know,” the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.” … Read more
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good—mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Nina is a smart little girl, but she talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her … Read more
Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate rendezvous in the dental clinic after hours. But one day he said sadly, “Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband’s bound to get suspicious.” “No way, sweetie, he’s … Read more
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. “How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.” “Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms, too, and died.” “Oh, how terrible! … Read more
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. “What would you like to do first, Kim?” asked Joe. “I want to get weighed,” she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the … Read more
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband just looked at his wife and said, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A … Read more
Jack’s grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him, she would be indifferent, or even worse, called … Read more