A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what is your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!” Ms. Brooks … Read more
A woman is in the hospital and just had twins, a boy and a girl. But no one is there with her except her brother. The nurse comes into the room after the delivery and says, “Your brother has taken the liberty to name the children.” The new mother says, “Oh no, he probably gave … Read more
A five-year-old boy was living with his mother, as his parents had divorced. One Sunday, she decided to take him to the zoo for the first time in his life. As they passed the various assortment of animals, she would tell the little boy what they were called and make him repeat it. After the … Read more
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second Mom, Ann: “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests … Read more
Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek, and the boy determined that one … Read more
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, “Mom, what’s sex?” His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had … Read more
A six-year-old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa. When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grandpa’s room. “Grampa, Grampa,” he says excitedly, “as soon as grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!” “What?” said his grandpa. “Make … Read more
Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. “Yes,” said the policeman. “The detectives … Read more
Little Johnny says, “Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.” “Well, you’ve done the right thing,” says Mommy. “But Mommy, I was sitting on Daddy’s lap.”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. A nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray: “Take only ONE… God is watching.” Further along the line, at the other end of the … Read more