Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different! The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I … Read more
The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot, and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him, and he would recognize any animal’s skin from its feel. If he could locate the bullet hole, … Read more
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.” He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don’t think … Read more
Dear Son, I’m writing this slowly because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won’t be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that … Read more
An Irishman in a wheelchair rolls into a bar and asks the waitress for a cup of coffee. He then looks over at the bar and asks the waitress, “Is that Jesus?” The waitress says that it is, so the Irishman says, “Give him a cup of coffee… I’ll pay.” A few minutes later, an … Read more
Two redneck hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their pick-up truck. Another hunter approached, pulling his along too. “Hey,” says the lone hunter, “I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the opposite direction. Then the … Read more
The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided to personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 … Read more
Bob says to Lester, “You know, I reckon I’m about ready for a vacation, only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice as to where to go. Two years ago you said to go to Hawaii, I went to Hawaii, and Marie got pregnant. Then … Read more
Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper, have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Leroy says, “Hey Jasper, there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in.” “But we’s privates,” protests Jasper. “We’s sergeants now,” says Leroy, pulling him inside. “Now, Jasper, I’m a-gonna … Read more
A guy was on trial for murder and, if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to … Read more