George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, George’s mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper … Read more
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been with a woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the … Read more
One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says, “You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I’m gonna go over there and talk to him.” So, he goes over to the man and taps him … Read more
A man went to a restaurant and ordered a steak with a baked potato. About halfway through dinner, he called the waitress over and said, “Ma’am, this potato is bad.” She nodded, picked up the potato, and smacked it. Then she put it back on his plate and said, “Sir, if that potato causes any … Read more
Three men go golfing together one day. When they get to the third hole, one said to the other, “How did you manage to get here today past your wife?” The second man said, “It wasn’t easy. I had to promise my wife that I would paint the full house outside. How did you do … Read more
Two men were sitting in a bar. One man turned to the other and said, “I slept with your mother!” The other man ignored him. A few moments later, the man said, more forcefully this time, “I slept with your mother!!” The other turned to him and replied, “Go home Dad, you’ve had too much … Read more
An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the doctor then said to the man: “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?” “In fact, I do,” said the man. … Read more
A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station. Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we’re ready to go on the trucks.” “From … Read more
A man went to the doctor and said, “Doctor, I’ve got a problem, but if you’re going to treat it, first you’ve got to promise not to laugh.” “Of course I won’t laugh,” the doctor said. “I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.” “Okay then,” the man said, and … Read more
A man ducked into confession with a turkey in his arms. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” he said. “I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you please take it and settle my guilty conscience?” “Certainly not,” said the Priest. “As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you … Read more