An old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out, “Hey boy, whatcha got there?” The boy yells back, “Roll of chicken wire.” The old man says, “What you gonna do with that?” The … Read more
A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancé to his study for a drink. “So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man. “I am a Torah scholar,” he replies. “A … Read more
These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years. The first guy asks the second guy, “How have things been going?” The second guy, speaking very slowly, tells the first guy, “I was almost married.” The first guy says in amazement, “Hey, you don’t stutter anymore.” The answer comes, “Yes, … Read more
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $40 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the … Read more
A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things – chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, … Read more
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every year Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that airplane.” Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.” One year Morris and Esther went to the fair and … Read more
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their 8 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man … Read more
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and … Read more
A husband in his backyard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering … Read more
Wandering dejectedly in The Garden of Eden, Eve told God, “I’m lonely. I’m tired of eating apples by myself.” “Okay,” God said, “I’ll create a man for you.” Eve said, “A man! What’s that?” “He’s a creature with aggressive tendencies and an enormous ego. He won’t listen very well, he’ll get lost easily, but never … Read more