A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him. “Yes,” she replied readily. “Tell him Mother didn’t come after all.”
A guy applied to join a nudist club. “Exactly what do you do here?” he asked. “It’s quite simple,” said the club secretary, “We take off all our clothes and commune with nature.” “Cool,” said the guy, “…count me in!!!” So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he … Read more
A priest and a rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying, “I know that in your religion you’re not supposed to eat pork. Have you actually ever tasted it?” The rabbi said, “I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd … Read more
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can … Read more
Paul, a guy on the local beach, just couldn’t make it with any of the girls. So he heads over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard has any advice for him. “Dude, it’s obvious,” says the lifeguard, “you’re wearing those baggy old swimming trunks that make you look like an old geezer. … Read more
In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn’t yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon … Read more
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time … Read more
A husband and wife entered the dentist’s office. The husband said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You’re a brave man,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.” The husband turns to his … Read more
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his private parts into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex … Read more
German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans had a nationwide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small … Read more