The man’s business trip is cancelled, and he is at home with a rather nervous wife. They go to bed, but about midnight, the phone rings. The man rolls over and answers, “Hello?” “What?” “How the hell should I know, I live in Phoenix.” He hangs up, and his wife asks, “Who was it, dear?” … Read more
A man takes his wife to the livestock show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull’s stall states: “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, isn’t that nice!” They proceed … Read more
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other’s throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor’s office, the … Read more
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed in the emergency room with second-degree burns. He was already starting to blister and in agony. The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, a sedative, and a … Read more
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped, and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a … Read more
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.” … Read more
A guy gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and says, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The wife says, “Wow! That’s great! I’m so happy! Should I pack for the ocean, or should I pack for the mountains?” He says, “I don’t care. Just get the hell out!”
A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so … Read more
“Honey,” said the husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because … Read more
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey, you know … Read more