A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. “Last night I made love to my wife four times,” the Frenchman bragged, “And this morning she made me delicious crepes and told me how much she adored me.” … Read more
A busy farmer needed some help with tending to the animals. His mother-in-law offered to spend some time on his farm, and being as busy as he was, the farmer had no choice but to accept her offer. A few days later, the farmer’s mother-in-law was killed when his mule kicked her. Thousands of people … Read more
A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing but slowly increases the speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I … Read more
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, “I’m … Read more
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, “What is this, Father?” The father, never having seen an elevator, responded, “Son, I have never seen … Read more
After a nice dinner, the two couples got up from the table. The ladies went into the kitchen, and the men went into the family room. One of the gents said to the other, “I think it is so wonderful how you call your wife ‘honey pie,’ ‘sweet pea,’ and ‘sugar’ all the time.” The … Read more
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow! You must have had one hell of a day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the … Read more
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said, “So, what did you bring?” The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to … Read more
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.” The old man says without hesitation, … Read more
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long-stemmed … Read more