A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to … Read more
Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before. The first man said, “My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed and not get into trouble.” The second deaf man said, “Boy, you’re lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting … Read more
A woman gets into a cab and gives the cab driver an address all the way across town. When they arrive, the woman says, “I have no money.” The cabbie says, “I have to get paid.” The woman raises her dress and asks, “Will this do?” The cabbie says, “Don’t you have anything smaller?”
A Russian, a Cuban, an American, and a lawyer are on a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: “In the USSR, we have the best vodka in the world. Nowhere else can you find vodka as good as … Read more
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long-stemmed … Read more
At 3 am, a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later, he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as … Read more
A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting, “I don’t give two hoots for your shoes, man. I’ll … Read more
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell are you doing?” “Well,” said the guy, “you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you … Read more
“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, sir,” the clerk replied. “That’s good,” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”
St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. “Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?” “Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?” “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, … Read more