A lawyer opened the door of his BMW when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!” he whined. “You lawyers are so … Read more
A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car expired. They set out to find help and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the … Read more
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The … Read more
Here is the corrected version of the joke: “These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders, and the bartender throws him out and yells, ‘I don’t serve strings in this bar.’ The other string ruffs himself up on the street, curls up, and orders. The bartender shouts, ‘Hey, … Read more
At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel … Read more
The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins: 1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty. 2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high. 3) Overcharging fees to many clients. 4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a … Read more
There was once a young lawyer, age 29, who was on his way to work when he was hit by a bus. He goes to heaven and meets St. Peter and pleads, “I am much too young to die, there must be a mistake!” St. Peter thinks about this for a moment and goes out … Read more
Here is the corrected version: A psychiatrist met a friend and exclaimed, “I heard you died.” “But you see I’m alive,” smiled the friend. “Impossible,” said the psychiatrist, “the man who told me is much more reliable than you.”
Jonathan took his college roommate, Jake, home for Easter. After dinner, Jonathan addressed his father (who was a man of the cloth): “Dad, I need to tell you something. Jake and I want to get married and we’d like your blessing.” Jonathan’s father practically exploded. His face turned red and he was speechless for ten … Read more
The Thomas family was shown into the dentist’s office, where Mr. Thomas made it clear he was in a big hurry. “No fancy stuff, Doctor,” he ordered. “No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.” “I wish more of my patients were as stoic as … Read more