All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend, “My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key … Read more
A mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple’s house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door. “What are you doing?” she asked. “I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered. “But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed. “This is … Read more
It’s Saturday morning, and John is just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home. “Hello?” says the little girl’s voice. … Read more
A couple who had been married for over 20 years were having a fight in the car during a trip for a holiday. After arguing for a moment, they decided to quit talking and silence ruled. Then, after a few minutes, they passed some pigs on a farm, all making those horrible noises—I don’t know … Read more
This young boy was playing with a dew worm in the yard. His grandfather, watching on the porch, yells out to his grandson, “I’ll give you $5 if you can shove that worm back into the hole.” The boy grabs the slimy, slinky worm and tries to shove it in the hole. After about 5 … Read more
True Blonde A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts whenever she touches it. “Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, she pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on, … Read more
Son: Daddy, daddy, why are we pushing the car over a cliff? Dad: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! You’ll wake grandma.
Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat. He said, “Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my trousers and handed them to your mother, and said, ‘Here – try these on.’ So, she … Read more
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife’s arm. The wife turns over and says, “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. … Read more
A veterinarian surgeon had a bad day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals, his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner. After dinner, they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. … Read more