A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I … Read more
A man goes to his doctor complaining of bad headaches. His doctor says, “We just got this new machine. You take a urine sample and feed it into the machine, and it tells you everything that is wrong with you.” Thinking this is pretty amazing, the man gives a sample and the doctor feeds it … Read more
Harold is 82 and having some prostate problems. After examining him, the doctor gives him a specimen jar and says, “Take this home with you, and try to produce a semen specimen. Stop by tomorrow and drop it off so I can run a few tests.” Harold takes the jar and heads home. The next … Read more
Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way. One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but … Read more
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee, and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, “My son is a homebuilder and he is so successful that he gave … Read more
Paddy and Seamus were flying to the U.S.A. in a jumbo jet when an hour into the flight they heard this message: “Beep beep, this is your captain speaking. We have just lost one of our four engines. Do not be alarmed, this plane is fully equipped to fly us to America on only three … Read more
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she spoke about her problem with a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to … Read more
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” … Read more
Three ducks go to heaven. The first duck waddles up to St. Peter and St. Peter asks, “What happened? You know, how did you die?” The duck replies, “I was just minding my own business, floating along in the water. I stuck my head under, started blowing bubbles, and a boat ran over my back.” … Read more
Two men are standing before a judge. Both men were arrested on the same day and given the assignment to devise a program to prevent others from committing crimes. After spending two days in jail, they were asked to present their ideas to the judge. The first man holds up a poster displaying two circles, … Read more