A woman walked up to the manager of a department store and asked, “Are you hiring any help?” “No,” he said, “We already have all the staff we need.” “Then would you mind getting someone to assist me?” she asked.
A man was inquiring about Viagra to a pharmacist. The pharmacist said, “These pills work wonders for me; I can go for 3 hours! I only have to take one pill.” Interested, the man asked, “Can you get it over the counter?” The pharmacist looked startled and replied, “Maybe if I take two pills!”
A man is sitting in a plane which is about to take off, when another man with a dog occupies the empty seats alongside. The dog sits in the middle with a seat all to himself. The first man is looking quizzically at the dog when the second man explains that they work for the … Read more
One day, this little boy went on a bus and sat right behind the bus driver. The little boy kept on saying things like, “If my daddy was an elephant and my mommy a girl elephant, I would be a little elephant.” The little boy kept going on, using almost all the animals he knew, … Read more
A young mechanic was repairing the engine of a cardiac surgeon’s BMW while the owner waited. The mechanic yelled across the floor to the doctor, “Hey Doc, can I ask you something?” The surgeon was a bit surprised but he walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened himself up and wiped his hands with … Read more
An 80-year-old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he boasted. “I’ve got an eighteen-year-old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?” The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, “Let me tell you a story. … Read more
A young virgin marries a Greek man, and before the wedding, her father tells her that, being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn the other way in bed one day, but she doesn’t have to do it if she doesn’t want to. Sure enough, after a couple of months, her husband asks her … Read more
An old guy goes to the doctor and gets some tests done. The doctor comes back from checking the results and says, “I have some bad news. You have cancer and you have Alzheimer’s.” The old man replies, “Oh thank god I don’t have cancer!”
A man was walking in the mountains, just enjoying the scenery, when he stepped too close to the edge of the mountain and started to fall. In desperation, he reached out and grabbed a limb of a gnarly old tree hanging onto the side of the cliff. Full of fear, he assessed his situation. He … Read more
Three friends – two straight guys and a gay guy – and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they’re standing before St. Peter. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his … Read more