The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Dillon, Breckenridge, and Keystone areas. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices, such as little bells, on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears … Read more
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refuses to serve him. “Why not?” asks the golf club. “You’ll be driving later,” replies the bartender.
Two mathematicians were traveling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but not to worry, there were three left. However, instead of 5 hours, it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, the pilot … Read more
These three guys – an American, Chinese, and German – were shipwrecked on a desert island. The German found this smokey bottle. So he brought it back to the other two and they all opened it together (the German was a really nice guy). Well, lo and behold, a GENIE POPPED OUT! The genie granted … Read more
There were three women speeding down a country road. One was a brunette, another a redhead, and the third a blonde. A cop saw them speeding and put on his siren. The three girls pulled over, got out of the car, and each climbed up a different tree to hide. The cop pulled over and … Read more
A man sitting at a bar was really drunk when he decided he had to use the restroom. He stumbled off to the restroom a few seconds later. After some time had passed, the bartender heard this horrifying scream. Since the other customers were starting to leave because of the noise, the bartender went back … Read more
My uncle once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he’d go to church on Sunday and sit at the back. During the service, he would sneak out and grab a hat from the rack at the front door. On Sunday, he went to church and sat at the back. The … Read more
Just before Thanksgiving, a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which is the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known … Read more
One day, a father and a child were walking down Manhattan Island. This was the year 2032, and as the boy and the father were walking, the father stopped and told his son, “See there, son, that is where your grandfather died during the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center.” Then the boy asked … Read more