An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor … Read more
God said unto Adam, “You have been quiet lately – is there something wrong?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. So God said that He would make him a companion and that it would be a woman. And God said, “A woman will gather food for you, cook for you, and when … Read more
“Daddy, where did I come from?” the seven-year-old asked. It was a moment for which her parents had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. Then they both sat back … Read more
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?” After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess … Read more
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.” The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, “How long before I can get a … Read more
One day, three guys go out into the woods to hunt deer. The first guy goes and comes back with a dead deer. He says, “Me find tracks, me follow tracks, me catch deer.” The second guy goes and also comes back with a dead deer. He also says, “Me find tracks, me follow tracks, … Read more
An Australian, an Irishman, and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar; a man. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out, “My … Read more
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.” A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy: W.”
A man took his old duck to the doctor, concerned because the duck wouldn’t eat. The doctor explained to the man that as ducks age, their upper bills grow down over their lower bills and make it difficult for the animal to pick up its food. “What you need to do is gently file the … Read more
There was a party on top of a large building’s roof. Two guys were off to the corner when the first guy said, “Watch this!” and with that, jumped off the roof. To the second man’s surprise, he just stayed suspended there and floated back. “Wow!” said the second man, “I’ll give you $20 if … Read more