My uncle once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he’d go to church on Sunday and sit at the back. During the service, he would sneak out and grab a hat from the rack at the front door. On Sunday, he went to church and sat at the back. The … Read more
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s … Read more
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The woman’s biggest fear was that there was no heaven. After a long life, the husband was the first to go and true to his word, he made contact. “Mary… Mary….” “Is that you, Fred?” “Yes, … Read more
The phone rings in the maternity ward. Upon answering, the duty midwife is told by a man, “Mrs. Jones is about to give birth; her contractions are just 3 minutes apart!” The midwife asks, “Is this her first child?” Bemused, the man says, “No, don’t be daft, this is her husband!”
Legend has it that in a pub in New York, there is a magic mirror that will grant wishes if you tell the truth. If you don’t, POOF, you’re gone in a flash of smoke. A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde went to this pub and headed straight for the mirror. The redhead walked … Read more
A bus driver was taking a group of senior citizens on an outing. During the trip, one elderly lady came up to him and told him that she thought she had been molested. The bus driver did not pay much attention to her comment until at the end of the trip another elderly lady told … Read more
Paddy and Seamus were flying to the U.S.A. in a jumbo jet when an hour into the flight they heard this message: “Beep beep, this is your captain speaking. We have just lost one of our four engines. Do not be alarmed, this plane is fully equipped to fly us to America on only three … Read more
A man went into a shoe repair store in his hometown that he had not been in for almost twenty years. He found everything just the way he remembered it. He went up to the counter and asked the man about a pair of shoes that he had left there for heel repair 20 years … Read more
Did you hear about the blond girl in a coffin? She was the winner of the 1994 hide & seek contest. P.S: Written in the year 2001.
“Piston Broke” One late evening, a redneck named Leroy came out of the local pub a little drunk. He got into his pickup truck and started driving home. He was on a lonely stretch of road when all of a sudden a piston blew right through the engine hood. Leroy got out of his pickup, … Read more