A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain when she comes across three dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down, and starts to stroke one of them. “Ah, you’re lovely, aren’t you,” she says to the first dog. “What’s your name then?” To her surprise, … Read more
In pharmacology, all drugs, once their patent expires, are given generic names. For example: Tylenol is Acetaminophen, Advil is Ibuprofen, and so on. The FDA is looking for a generic name for Viagra and announced today that they have settled on: Mycoxafailin. Other names considered were: Mycoxafloppin, Mydixadrupin, Mycoxnowworkin, Mydixarizen…
A young boy went up to his father and asked, “What is the difference between potentially and realistically?” The father pondered for a while, then answered, “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Also, ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million … Read more
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes.” The woman freed the frog and … Read more
There was this bar and blondes were celebrating in the corner, with beers shouting, “41 days, 41 days!!!!” The bartender watched as more came in and joined the celebration. He was finally so curious that he went over and said, “Why are you celebrating shouting, ’41 days, 41 days!!!’?” And a blonde held up a … Read more
A three-legged poodle walked into a bar in the Wild West and said, “Hey, I’m lookin’ for the guy who shot my paw!”
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?” The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.” “Oh, I see,” replied the boy pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that … Read more
A blonde went out for a walk. She came to a river and saw another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo,” she shouted, “how can I get to the other side?” The second blonde looked up the river, then down the river, and then shouted back, “You’re already on the other side.”
A blonde goes to an electronic store. She goes up to the salesman and says, “I’d like to buy this TV.” The salesman replies, “Sorry, I don’t sell to blondes.” The blonde, very angry, goes home. The next day she dresses up very professionally, pins her hair up, and puts on a pair of glasses. … Read more
A pirate walks into a bar. He has the whole pirate getup: peg leg, funky hat, the long beard, and the parrot. But he has a ship steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, “Excuse me, but you have a ship steering wheel in your pants.” The pirate says, “Arrrggg, IT’S DRIVING ME NUTS!”