A grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson, who was coming for a Christmas visit with his wife. “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T,” she said. She continued, “There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow, push button 14T. I will buzz … Read more
One day, a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 miles an hour when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas, but at 50 miles per hour, the chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running, the … Read more
The answer to the eternal question “Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?” Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game. With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178,100 a day, working or not. If he sleeps 7 hours a … Read more
A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. George Bush was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service workers. Dubya asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box. The little boy said, “Republicans.” The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, … Read more
A man passed away and went to heaven. When the man arrived at the pearly gates, St. Peter said, “Come on in. I’ll show you around. You’ll like it here.” Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner. It appeared that heaven … Read more
Dear Husband, I am sending you this letter via email so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives two years ago. The children are doing well. Jimmy is seven now and … Read more
Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened. Andy replied, “Oh, nothing. It’s just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while.” Josh said, “Gee, I never knew you played hockey.” Andy replied, “No, I don’t. I hurt it last … Read more
The Ballad Of The Y2K (sing to the tune of “Gilligan’s Island”) Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale Of the doom that is our fate. That started when programmers used Two digits for a date Two digits for a date RAM memory was smaller then; Hard drives were tiny, too. “Four digits … Read more
It was graduation day, and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. “Let’s try to make this look natural,” she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.” The father answered, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him … Read more
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle, so the elephants decided to challenge the ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the elephants beating the ants ten to nothing when the ants gained possession of the ball. The ants’ star player was dribbling the ball towards the elephants’ … Read more