A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. … Read more
The big game hunter gets talked into taking both his wife and her mother along on one of his expeditions. It does not go well. The mother-in-law is, if anything, harder to get along with in the wilds than she was in the city. And to make matters worse, she won’t even abide by the … Read more
I stopped at a fast food restaurant, intrigued by a sign which offered fat-free fries. I decided to give them a try, but I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a batch of fries from the fryer dripping with fat, and then put a bag of these fries in with my order. “Just a minute,” … Read more
Bill and Hillary Clinton were traveling to Hillary’s high school reunion in Chicago when they had to stop for gas. They pulled up to the full-service pump and waited as the gas station attendant came out to fill up the limo. As he was pumping the gas, Hillary said to Bill, “Gee, that guy looks … Read more
Letter from Camp… Dear Mom & Dad, We are having a great time here at Lake Typhoid. Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of … Read more
“How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money, there has been only one answer to that question.”
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor. The Pope says, “What can I do?” The Colonel says, “I need you to change the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day … Read more
There was this bloke who had a dog which he was attempting to train, but alas had very little success. He was on the verge of despair when he happened across a very charismatic American evangelist. He unburdened his soul to the American, who promptly informed him to leave the dog with him, and he … Read more
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. “This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,” said one. “No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the other. And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence. “Bring me my biggest sword,” said … Read more
A lady took her Poodle to the parlor for a haircut. When she asked what it would cost, the girl behind the counter told her, “$60.” The lady was outraged: “I only pay 50 bucks for my own haircut!” “But you don’t bite, do you?” the girl replied.