Johnny Cochran was duck hunting in Montana recently when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. A farmer suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked Mr. Cochran what he was doing on his property. “Retrieving this duck that I just shot,” he … Read more
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer. “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to bury … Read more
Thorn was in the hospital for a complete check-up. At 11:00 AM, they brought him soup for lunch, which he refused. At 2:00 PM, they again tried to serve him some soup, which he refused. Again, at 5:00 PM and 7:00 PM, they tried, and both times Thorn turned down the soup, so they gave … Read more
The CIA loses track of one of its operatives and calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, ‘The weather forecast calls for … Read more
Her husband had passed on, and the new widow was so distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her that her husband was just fine. She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion with her. “Is there anything he needs?” the distraught woman asked, between tears. The spiritualist went into a … Read more
On her way to work, a lady passed a new pet shop. She had a few minutes to spare, so she walked into the store and took a look around. Near the store window, she saw a cage with a beautiful red parrot in it. She admired him for a few minutes, when the parrot … Read more
One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was furious and said, “Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!” “Yes, Sir, Mr. President,” the interior decorator replied, “I’ll take those mirrors out … Read more
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He … Read more
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking alcohol when all of a sudden, the passenger, Bubba, said, “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl. It’s a po-lice roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!” “Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off … Read more
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKenzie asks, “So how are your men?” “Very well trained, General McKenzie.” “I hope … Read more