There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and –WHACK!!– knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The great big dude says, “That was a karate chop from Korea.” The little guy gets back … Read more
A lawyer is heading home in his limousine when he sees a group of people on the side of the highway. He tells the chauffeur to stop the car, goes over to them, and asks what they’re doing. A man says, “We’re poor, homeless, and starving. If we don’t eat this grass we’ll die of … Read more
A farmer dies and goes to hell. While down there, the Devil notices that the farmer is not suffering like the rest. He checks the gauges and sees that it’s 90 degrees and about 80 percent humidity. So the Devil goes over to the farmer and asks why he’s so happy. The farmer says, “I … Read more
Staff Notice With immediate effect, a toilet policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for staff, ensuring effective time management and equal treatment for all. On the first day of every month, all staff will be issued 20 toilet trip credits which may be accumulated. The doors to all toilets … Read more
Her husband had passed on, and the new widow was so distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her that her husband was just fine. She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion with her. “Is there anything he needs?” the distraught woman asked, between tears. The spiritualist went into a … Read more
A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party, everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married for so long in this day and age. The husband responded, “When we were first married, we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions, and my wife would make … Read more
An applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application. “What’s the trouble?” the salesman asked. The man said that he was reluctant to answer the question about the cause of death of his father. The salesman wanted to know why. With some embarrassment, the client explained that his father had … Read more
A gentleman was sitting at a crowded bar talking with a colleague about a recent legal encounter. “Lawyers are jerks,” the man said as he completed his story. His colleague agreed by saying, “Yeah, lawyers are jerks.” A couple nearby overheard the conversation and the word spread quickly throughout the bar that indeed lawyers are … Read more
The distinguished professor and his chauffeur were talking one day on the way to the next speaking engagement, and the driver said, “I’ve sat in the back and listened to your presentation so many times that I can give it just as well as you can.” The professor said, “I’ll bet you can’t. Just to … Read more
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, “Tell me about the day you died.” The man said, “Oh, it was … Read more