While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. “What’s that big brass gong for?” one of the guests asked. “Why, that’s my talking clock,” the man replied. “How does it work?” asked one of his friends. … Read more
About a decade ago, the American government realized that they were at risk of being surpassed by other countries in the automotive sector if they didn’t collaborate. They decided to form a council to conduct research. The group visited a Japanese car factory and noticed something peculiar – there were numerous cats wandering around the … Read more
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” … Read more
A busload of politicians was driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few … Read more
In the US, everything that is not prohibited by law is permitted. In Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited. In Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted by law. In France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited by law.
Two programmers walked along the street. They saw a beautiful blonde not far away and one of them said, “Too bad that girl has no standard interface.” “They have,” replied the other programmer, “but there is no standard way to get to it.”
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room … Read more
After the Great Britain Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Sen~or, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from … Read more
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him. He dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran … Read more
Three young boys were trying to figure out whose dad was the best: The first boy said, “My dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hand.” The second boy said, “My dad is so good that he can shoot … Read more