Here is the corrected version: A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin. Somebody asked her how that could be possible. “Well,” she said. “The first time I married an octogenarian and he died before we could consummate the marriage.” “The second time I married a naval officer and war broke … Read more
There were two old men who had loved baseball all of their life. They had grown up in the same town where they played together through grade school, high school, and then college. After college, they didn’t have the skill for professional ball, so they learned to be umpires in order to stay around the … Read more
One hot day, three preachers (one Catholic, one Baptist, and one a Jewish Rabbi) were on a walk. They came to a clear stream, and the Catholic Priest said, “I really would like to go swimming.” The Baptist minister and Jewish Rabbi agreed, so they stripped down and went skinny dipping. As they were swimming … Read more
There was this guy who worked with a help desk for a big broadcasting company. One day, this lady called in because she didn’t know why her computer wouldn’t come on. He then asked her, “Did you plug it in?” She said “Yes.” He then asked her, “Did you turn it on?” She said “Yes. … Read more
One Sunday morning, the priest noticed that little Anthony was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The ten-year-old boy had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the … Read more
There was this man that had difficulty making decisions: 1. His parents asked him whether he wanted to go to public or private school. He decided to go to private school…and hated it. 2. On to college: Harvard or Yale? He became a Yalie…and hated it. 3. He thought about getting married: Blonde or Redhead? … Read more
A doctor at a major hair-loss institute in England now says the best way to avoid going bald is to drink a lot of alcohol. They say drinking alcohol to excess increases hair growth. This could be true. When was the last time you saw a bald Kennedy?
After a lengthy conference with the estranged husband, the lawyer reported to his client, “Mrs. LaMay, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you.” “Fair to both!” exploded Mrs. LaMay. “I could have done that myself. What the hell do you think I hired a … Read more
A market researcher called at a house, and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions, and when she agreed, he asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their … Read more
A mine owner is looking for new workers to perform necessary jobs, so he advertised and three individuals turned up. One is a big muscular Irish guy, the other is an Italian guy, and the last one is Japanese. The owner tells the Irish guy that he will be in charge of the mining because … Read more