Cousin Elly is the world’s worst at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married, her husband bought her one of those fancy electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it. Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked: how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, and upon … Read more
A building contractor was being paid by the week for a job that was likely to stretch over several months. He approached the owner of the property and held up the check he’d been given. “This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,” he said. “I know,” the owner said. “But last week … Read more
Four guys were out on the golf course. As one of them was teeing off at the 10th hole, which was next to the highway, they saw a funeral procession go by. Instead of teeing off, the guy removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed. At this point, … Read more
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one. Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it. “Well,” explained the girl, “up front there are 17 University of California … Read more
A mine owner is looking for new workers to perform necessary jobs, so he advertised and three guys turned up. One is a big muscular Irish guy, the other is an Italian guy, and the last one is Japanese. The owner tells the Irish guy that he will be in charge of the mining because … Read more
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every … Read more
Up in heaven, there is a white picket fence. On one side stood God, and on the other side stood Satan and a few of his henchmen. The devil’s helpers were kicking holes in the fence. God said, “If you don’t tell them to stop, I’ll sue you.” Satan started laughing and replied, “You think … Read more
A guy came home to his wife and said to her, “Guess what? I’ve found a great job. A 10 am start, 2 pm finish, no overtime, no weekends, and it pays $600 a week in the hand to boot!” “That’s great,” his wife said. “Yeah, it’s unreal,” he agreed. “You start Monday.”
Three men – a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer – are in Ft. Lauderdale for a two-week period helping out on a project. About midweek, they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the … Read more
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old lawyers gave them a fight for their lives. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got out with $25 between us.” “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers!” the boss screamed. “We had … Read more