For many years, a certain white whale and a tiny herring had been inseparable friends. Wherever the white whale roamed in search of food, the herring was sure to be swimming right along beside him. One fine spring day, the herring turned up off the coast of Norway without his companion. Naturally, all the other … Read more
Two hunters were hunting deer when one accidentally shot his friend. At the hospital, the shooter asked the doctor if his friend would be okay. “Well, he would have been if you hadn’t gutted him.” Two hunters shot a deer and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because … Read more
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and all I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything and I’m using some of the insurance money for this trip.” “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I’m here … Read more
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each other’s friendship. One day, the younger of the two ladies turns to the other and says, “Please don’t be angry with me, dear, … Read more
A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot. The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower. “Help! Help!” The tower came back and asked what was wrong. The blind guy … Read more
One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was furious and said, “Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!” “Yes, Sir, Mr. President,” the interior decorator replied, “I’ll take those mirrors out … Read more
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, “Oh God, I’m screwed.” The sky darkens and a voice booms out, “No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of … Read more
Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary were at a baseball game when the man sitting behind Bill whispers something into Bill’s ear. Bill Clinton stands up and throws Hillary onto the baseball field. The man that was sitting behind Bill said, “No, NO, I said throw the first pitch!”
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee … Read more
A man took his wife deer hunting for the first time. After he explained the basics to his wife, he told her the most important piece of information: “Whenever you shoot something, make sure to claim it right away or the first person who gets to your kill can claim it as their own, so … Read more