A traveler became lost in the desert region of Algeria. Realizing his only chance for survival was to find civilization, he began walking. Time passed, and he became thirsty. More time passed, and he began feeling faint. Reduced to crawling, he was on the verge of passing out when he spied a tent about 500 … Read more
Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One was Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other was Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far from the convent. SL: Do you notice a man’s been following us? SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants. SL: It’s logical. He wants … Read more
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. “Help me, I’ve been mugged and viciously beaten,” he pleaded. The two social workers turned and … Read more
Father O’Grady is standing at the door after Sunday Mass when Mary Clancy comes up to him, tears rolling down her face. “Oh Father,” she cries, “I have terrible news!” “What is it, my child?” he asks. “My husband died last night.” “Oh Mary,” says the priest, “That’s terrible news. But tell me, did he … Read more
There was once a great actor who had a problem – he could no longer remember his lines. After many years, he finally found a theatre willing to give him a chance to shine again. The director told him, “This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You must walk onto … Read more
A out-of-towner in New York decided to re-visit a fine uptown restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he began, “Hey, you know, it’s been over five years since I first came in here…” “You’ll have to wait your turn, sir,” replied the harried … Read more
When the Son of God was nailed to the cross and died, he went straight down to hell from the cross and set free all the sinners who were there in torment. And the devil wept and mourned, for he thought he would get no more sinners for hell. Then God said to him, “Do … Read more
A man is a person who, if a woman says, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” lets her. A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” and he lets her, gets mad. A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, “Never … Read more
When I was still a newlywed, I was invited out for a night with “the boys.” Being naive about these things at the time, I promised my wife that I would be home by midnight. Well, you know how these things go; the yarns were being spun and the drinks were going down easy, and … Read more
A phone company puts an ad in the paper that they are recruiting workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up: a crew of five Italian men and a crew of five blonde women. The company cannot decide whom to give the job to, so they give them a test. The company boss … Read more