A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her “no.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Ellen, we just have half of the … Read more
“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh.” — Conan O’Brien “In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the … Read more
A US Commerce Department employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. “This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie … Read more
A loaded minivan pulled into the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters’ father, “That, sir, … Read more
A man is waiting patiently for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms, or legs. The son is just a head! The father loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, … Read more
A young military jet pilot, flying a single-engine F-16 American fighter, was escorting a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog picked up his microphone and transmitted, “Anything you can do, I can do better.” The veteran bomber pilot answered, “Try this, … Read more
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, “Do you still get horny?” The other replies, “Oh, sure I do.” The first old lady asks, “What do you do about it?” The second old lady replies, “I suck a lifesaver.” After a few … Read more
The young reporter covering Israeli politics took an apartment within sight of the Wailing Wall. Each day she would watch the faithful pray. One rabbi in particular stood out, so fervent were his prayers. One evening she approached him. “Rabbi, I’m a reporter from America. From my window, each day, I see you pray in … Read more
Top 13 best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: 13. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 12. “This is just a 15-minute power-nap that they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.” 11. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the … Read more
Math Through the Ages Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What … Read more