A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I … Read more
Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the Baptist … Read more
The world’s most widely seen warning label: “Intel Inside” Windoze 95/98 Tech Support response: “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.” Apple: “We may not do everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to change.”
I was reminded today just how awful my wife’s cooking was when we were first married. Yes, it’s cliche but it’s true. It was so bad that I teased her relentlessly. Recently, after an exceptionally exquisite meal, I put my fork down and asked her to what she attributed her acquired culinary mastery. She smiled … Read more
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa’s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally, the little girl asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?” “He sure did, honey, a long … Read more
A busload of politicians was driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few … Read more
A Michigan circuit judge tells about a divorce suit he handled recently: “I think you might as well give your husband a divorce,” he advised the wife. “What!” shouted the lady. “I have lived with this bum for twenty years, and now I should make him happy?”
A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held. “I must say,” says the executive, “your work history is terrible. You’ve been fired from … Read more
A guy was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The guy was impressed since he knew the couple had been married almost 70 years. While the wife was off in the kitchen, he … Read more
A band director named Ravelli was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, and performance simply didn’t improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can’t handle his instrument and doesn’t improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and … Read more