Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?” Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and … Read more
One day President Bush was visiting Queen Elizabeth, and she decided to take him for a tour of London in the Royal Carriage. The carriage was being pulled by six Royal Stallions, and one of them suddenly passed gas. It sounded like a 21-gun salute it was so loud! The smell permeated the inside of … Read more
“Daddy,” a little girl asked her father, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’?” “No, sweetheart,” he answered. “Some begin with ‘If I am elected.’”
A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was having an intimate encounter with a beautiful young woman. “What a ripoff,” the man muttered. “I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to … Read more
A truck driver frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse at the side of the road. Of course, there were always lawyers walking along the road. The truck driver made it a practice to hit any pedestrian lawyers with his truck as he sped by. One day, he spotted a priest … Read more
The top ten things that sound dirty in law (but aren’t!): 10. Have you looked through her briefs? 9. He is one hard judge! 8. Counselor, let’s do it in chambers. 7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute. 6. Is it a penal offense? 5. Better leave the handcuffs on. 4. For $200 an … Read more
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party. “What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?” the minister asked. “Try to fix it if it’s big; ignore it if it’s insignificant,” replied the lawyer. “What do you do?” The minister replied, “Oh, more or less the same. Let me give … Read more
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeemer!!!” he whined. “You lawyers are so … Read more
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time, he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant … Read more
One morning, a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. “Oh, please excuse me!” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and can’t see.” “That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. “To … Read more