A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out … Read more
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “I cannot accept money from you, for you are a good man – you do God’s work.” The next morning, the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop. … Read more
An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel. She began interviewing young lawyers. “As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal … Read more
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. “So, what is it?” grumbled the governor. “Judge Garber has just died,” said the attorney, “and I want to take his place.” Replied the governor: “Well, … Read more
Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team’s response times. “Since we installed our new satellite navigation system,” bragged the first one, “we cut our emergency response time by ten percent.” The other paramedics nodded in approval. “Not bad,” the second paramedic commented. “But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, … Read more
A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife. She rushed in and said, “What is it, honey?” He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and got it, prepared to … Read more
A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with … Read more
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one of the men, “Why are you eating the grass?” The poor man replied, “We don’t have money for … Read more
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great … Read more
Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news. Client: Well, give me the bad news first. Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene. Client: Oh no! I’m ruined! What’s the good news? Lawyer: The good news is your … Read more