You know yours is a Red Neck Church if:
– Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5000, the men want to know whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.
– The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
– The pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering.” Then five guys and two women stand up.
– Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
– A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”
– The choir is known as the “OK Chorale.”
– In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
– Baptism is referred to as “Branding.”
– There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a new church septic tank.
– High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
– The baptismal is a #2 galvanized wash tub.
– The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob’s Bar-B-Q and are embroidered with his logo.
– The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.