A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “I want a 12-year-old scotch, and don’t try to fool me because I can tell the difference.” The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with a 5-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says: “Hey, Bartender, this crap is 5-year-old scotch. I told you that I wanted a 12-year-old.” The bartender won’t give up and tries once more, this time with an 8-year scotch. The man takes a sip, grimaces and says: “Bartender, I do not want 8-year-old scotch like this filth. Give me a 12-year-old scotch or I’ll leave!” Impressed, the bartender gives him the 12-year scotch on the house. The man takes a sip and sighs, “Ah, now that’s the real thing.”
A disgusting, ugly, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says: “Hey, I think that’s really far out what you can do. Try this one.” The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, “Yechhh! This stuff tastes like piss!” The drunk’s eyes light up and he says, “Yeah sure, now how old am I?”