How To Tell When You’re Really Old:
– You find yourself listening to talk radio.
– Your daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.
– The pattern on your shorts and couch match.
– You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.
– You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hairpiece, and a 20-year-old girlfriend.
– You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.
– You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining it.
– You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.
– When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.
– When jogging is something you do to your memory.
– Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
– All the cars behind you flash their headlights.
– You remember the “Rolling Stones” as a rock group, not a corporation.
– You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son’s new running shoes.
– You actually ASK for your father’s advice.
– You don’t know how to operate a fax machine.
– When someone mentions SURFING, you picture waves and a surfboard.