Since AOL has introduced their unlimited hours package, they have started displaying special messages to customers:
1. You have been online for 46 minutes. Do you want to stay online? Please respond within 10 minutes, or you will be logged off.
2. You have been online for 135 minutes. Not to put any pressure on you, but there are OTHER people in the world who would like to sign on. Let’s show some consideration for our fellow members and sign off, WHADDYA SAY?
3. You DO realize that you have been online for 180 minutes, right? When was the last time you went outside?
4. OK, this is getting ridiculous. Frankly, you’re starting to upset us! If you sign off now, we’ll bring back your buddy list, OK?
5. You have been online for 360 minutes now! We promised you unlimited time, we know, but can’t you just finish up and go read a good book?!
6. You have been online for 467 minutes. Do you remember your family members’ names?
7. You have been online for 513 minutes. Your spouse has left, and your dog is starving. Do you wish to remain online?
8. You have been online for 724 minutes. Steve Case is coming personally to your house to yank the phone cord!
9. You have been online for 852 minutes. Do you KNOW how many hours that is?
10. You have been online for 921 minutes. Do you realize that AOL averages 921 complaints per hour about busy phone lines? Do you realize that AOL receives 9.21 lawsuits per day due to busy phone lines? PLEASE sign off to reduce these averages, or go to KEYWORD: Class Action to join a lawsuit.
11. You have been online for 967 minutes. When AOL went unlimited, they didn’t think you would take it LITERALLY! So get OFF before we go broke!
12. You have been online for 1013 minutes. This is Steve Case. I need to sign on myself and answer some mail. Could you PLEASE sign off?
13. You have been online for 1105 minutes. Are you and your family chatting in shifts? GEEZE get off already!
14. You have been online for 1151 minutes. WELCOME TO THE TEAM… See job application enclosed!